A Day With Sheogorath
by Davetheguy
Summary: Sheogorath is bored one day and decides to go on a little trip
1. Chapter 1

A Day with Sheogorath

Another sun dawned upon the folks of the Shivering Isles, granted most of them don't leave their home because of paranoia. But this day was especially uneventful and similar to the Mad God himself, none other than Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness. As a Prince, he has duties as any Ruler would, however I use this term quite loosely. Whether he be casting "Unfortunate Events" on already tormented souls that live under him. However no one new was entering the isles and so people who had received terrible fortune (And were still sane enough to think straight) knew why it was happening and couldn't do much to stop it.

It was on this day that Sheogorath came to the frightening conclusion, that he had become bored of his own madness, there's nothing new to thrill or entertain him. At least not in this world. He didn't mean in way of travelling to Nirn, making flaming dogs fall from the sky, (He tried the same thing with cheese once), the townsfolk couldn't get rid of the smell for months. While he cracked a grin over past pranks and debauchery.

He still knew that he needed something new and creative to do to keep himself occupied. There were all sorts of alternate and worlds and dimensions he could run amuck through. The opportunity left him positively beaming. Perhaps it left him with to much option.

(Please note before continuing that the idea of this is that everything we know things on the internet, television etc. all exist within there own different dimension. And in a rare instance or based the travelers skills, they can commute between these worlds. And that several people have this ability usually being superpower monarchs or powerful mages. Sheogorath can be considered both of these things.)

He had made up his mind, and had summoned Haskill.

"Yes my lord?" Haskill droned in that monotone voice he possesses.

Sheogorath looked at his trusty assistant and the smile he had on could only mean trouble.

" Pack your bags, Haskill, we're going on vacation!" He shouted in a high-and mighty voice. Without a break in his blank expression, Haskill gave a bow and said

"Of course my lord." Haskill was well aware of the tenants of inter-dimensional travel, but questioned if Sheogorath even read them.

Oh, dear reader, you're probably a tad bit confused right now, so let give a synopsis. The Tenants of Inter-Dimensional travel are essentially rules set in place to keep people who have this ability to travel in line, and that it should only be used when one peoples or person are in dire need. And many other rules and codes, creeds and otherwise that are clearly stated in the tenants. However, Sheogorath considered his boredom to be of the utmost concern to be corrected, IMMEDIATLEY. Sheogorath being well, Sheogorath paid little attention to any rules in general and quite frankly, who could blame him?

With a snap of a finger and cracking of knuckles, (not necessarily in that order) opened a rift in space-time itself.

Now, dear reader, I pose to you this question. Where should Sheogorath go? It could be absolutely anywhere in time. The past, the future, anywhere in pop-culture or fantasy worlds, anywhere. Please leave a comment to choose.


	2. Getting Down and Dirty

A Day with Sheogorath

Chapter 2

Getting down and dirty

We last left our maniacal Mad God Sheogorath going through going through the rift he had created in time space itself. Before he could walk inside however, Haskill stopped him at the last moment.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Haskill questioned. Sheogorath had a blank expression which turned into a small grin, believing that he was being sarcastic but then again, Haskill doesn't joke. Sheogorath was fairly certain he didn't know what humor was.

"Haskill, my dear boy!" He exclaimed. "I need you to ask yourself something." he said in a calmer tone. "Am I ever sure about anything I do?" Sheogorath then broke out laughing and continued to say. "Alright, I'll humor you. No Inter-Dimensional travelling FOR NOW." He said in a somewhat harsh tone. "We couldn't even leave yet anyway, you haven't packed AT ALL!... Not even the toiletries."

He returned to his throne and pulled out two pieces of paper. One being a map of Cyrodiil, his favorite place to wreak havoc upon. And the other one was a list of shenanigans that he had played on places before. He had put greenmote in the imperial cities drinking water. He had made flaming dogs fall from the sky, goblins attack the Odiil farmstead etc. As he looked closer at the map, he noticed a small speck of a dot on the map that was a town, more so, it was a town that he's overlooked. Sheogorath's sheer disbelief that there was a town on the map that he had overlooked made him think it was an error, but it was actually there.

"Haskill!" Sheogorath shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Yes?" Haskill inquired.

"See this small speck of dirt on this map?" Sheogorath said.

"Yes." Haskill said once again.

"As it turns out, it's a town! A new one too!" Sheogorath said in excitement. Haskill turned away from the map and to the Mad God cleared his throat for one his long, boring, explanations.

"The Town of Hackdirt is not new by any means. It is one of the oldest towns in Northern Cyrodiil. In fact it was founded in…." Haskill had become lost in thoughts and noticed that Sheogorath was no longer at his throne. He had already made his way for the door.

"Sounds boring, don't care, let's go!" Sheogorath was excited to go to a new town to have fun with, but was disappointed that he overlooked a town. He felt that it was his duty to go toy in the lives of average folk from the mortal realm. In fact he was down right embarrassed. He had opened that rift in the mortal realm and delved in, actually it was more of a dive.

He had come out the other side to greet a very peaceful town in the early morning. The birds were singing, everyone was still asleep, everything was as it should be. Of course that to say, for now.

"Well, this isn't very exciting." Sheogorath said as if he were genuinely surprised. "However, the more peaceful a place turning it upside down is all the more fun! Haskill!" Sheogorath shouted despite him being right next to him.

"I don't think you brought the toiletries, but did you at least bring the cheese?" Sheogorath said with some hope in his voice. Of course Haskill was empty handed. "I forget why I bring you on vacation; you don't like to talk to me most of the time. But I always come prepared."

And out of his pocket he pulled….. The Wabbajack! "The Wabbajack Haskill!" He presented with pride. "I don't leave home without it! I wonder how many lucky folks live in this town that we can have fun with!"

As Sheogorath looked more closely at the town, a look of surprise came over his face. A frequent emotion he had as of late. "Why, half of this town is burned down, someone already came through here!" Sheogorath said with anger. "I thought they closed the Oblivion gates!" he said lost in a conversation with himself. "If there's anyone who should burn stuff it's me!" Sheogorath said.

It was at this point the townsfolk who didn't live in burned down buildings were waking up. And Sheogorath got out of his funk. And a grin came over his face. An average man in peasant's clothing came out to do his daily rounds. He approached Sheogorath as if he didn't even see him. As he walked by he only let out a quick hello, and went on his way, walking towards one of the burned down buildings.

"That's odd," said Sheogorath. "Am I really that hard to notice?" The man came back in Sheogorath's direction, but this time stopped to speak.

"Have you heard about the chapel attack in Anvil? All of Dibella's priests and priestesses murdered." The man said.

"That's not where I would take the conversation but, okay." Said Sheogorath

"The fighter's guild isn't a bad way to make some gold, if you've got the stones for it." The man continued to say.

"What does that have to with anything?!" Sheogorath said rhetorically. "Do you even know who I am? Please, allow me to introduce myself, I am Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness." The man stared blankly at him for a moment and proceeded to say:

"Did you hear about the emperor's murder? Right under the nose of the guard, it's a disgrace!" He said.

Sheogorath baffled, continued to say: "My breath is wasted on you mortals why did you want me to come here Haskill?" Sheogorath asked.

"This seemed to be a much safer place to go to go about your business." Said Haskill.

"Safe?" Sheogorath busted out laughing. "You don't know me very well, do you Haskill?" Sheogorath suggested. "Why in oblivion would I come here to be safe? I'm a god, mortals can't do anything to harm me." It was at this point that another man came outside and spoke with the man that Sheogorath was just speaking with. As they talked to each other, Sheogorath noticed something unusual about the two men.

"Haskill, do you hear that?" Sheogorath said slightly bewildered.

"What?" Haskill inquired.

"There voices Haskill, they sound exactly the same! You two!" Sheogorath shouted. "Do you realize that you two have the exact same voice?" In unison the two men said "No."

"Apparently, I'm not even needed here." Sheogorath said. "It's full of pyromaniac twins! It even creeps me out, and I'm me! What do you two have to say for yourselves?" Sheogorath asked. Once again in unison the men said; "Ever been to Bravil? Can't stand the place myself." Sheogorath had lost his patience and let out a yell.

"That's it! I'm going to burn down the rest of this town! I promise that no one will miss you, it seems you people are crazy enough as it is! You don't need me! I'm wasting my time when I could be going somewhere fun! I must be going now, I suggest you find somewhere to duck and cover, quickly!" Sheogorath left in a huff and opened a portal back to the court of madness.

As soon as he did, hellfire starting raining down upon the people of Hackdirt, something far from Sheogorath's original intent. He left ultimately disappointed. "Haskill, no more travelling to Nirn, I think I've left to much of a mark there." Haskill gave out a reluctant sigh and said "Of course."

"Anyways, let's head off to the next place, we still have plenty of the day ahead of us." Sheogorath had already opened the portal before he could finish his sentence. Haskill, seeing any attempt at persuading in vein, decided to come along and as usual said;

"Of course." They went into the portal and off they went. Where? That's for you to decide.

To be continued…..

(Fun fact: Oblivion has over a thousand characters, but only 13 voice actors.)


End file.
